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Should I Stay, Or Should I Go?

A Guide To Knowing Whether Your Relationship Can and Should be Saved

Growing A New Heart [logo]


Some kind words...

"JAC's attention to detail make her adept at all aspects of planning- from budget to logistics to content. However, her true gifts are her leadership and communication skills. I have watched her facilitate for years. JAC can coax meaningful participation from even the shyest or most confrontational of attendees."

MK Hewlett,
Director of Victim Services, VT Center for Crime Victim Services

"JAC is the only person I thought of to bring into facilitate the Victim/Survivor of Crime Council when they were challenged by an internal conflict and structural changes needed to be made to make the Council a more formalized group."

Sharon Davis,
Staff Liaison to the Vermont Victim/Survivor of Crime Council

JAC is an inspiration and definer both in workshop and on a personal level, being a point of reference for me in times of decision and evaluation of relationships. She has a clear understanding of the dynamics involved in achieving emotional and relational health, one that has helped me keep centered and strong when those close to the heart disappoint.

Andrea Parisi

We have had the pleasure of working with JAC several times. Her style is engaging and deeply respectful of the learner. Participants in her trainings walk away with more than just new information-they leave with the skills to understand and integrate the information into their daily working environment. She creates an atmosphere of trust, respect and interconnectedness which endures long after the training sessions have ended.

April Burgess-Johnson
Co-Executive Director
NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Retreat participants

"When you started out screaming the Angry Sheep thing and actually running away from us, I thought, 'Oh, I didn't realize this was going to be FUN!' You are totally fun. I look through all my notes with all the ideas and stuff and I wrote names for the stories I remembered the most. In no particular order, you should know that I won't forget these: Angry Sheep, I Love Shit, Dominick's Chair, Mighty Mouse, Shay Shay Koolay, The Hungry Shaman, Aunt Pat's Sign, Just No-tice, The French Bitch, Baby Lion, A Bird for My Children, The Gas Station and Killer Lemonade. You are amazing. I can't tell you what a gift you are to me. I didn't know ‘the size of my unmet need’ as you say, and this tidal wave of love just filled me up."

"I am not educated and I am embarrassed about writing this down. The story about the shoes. I can't really find the words. You are a computer to me. I don't understand computers. But you remind me of my father, who was born a hundred years ago. He would have loved you. He treated everybody the same, just like you do. The LOVE. The way you said hello to me. I have my music back in my heart and I will sing to the world again the way I did with my father when I was a girl about the love I feel at the dimming of the day. My dear, sweet, beautiful girl. I waited for so many many years for the words I heard from you."

"This retreat should come with a kind of warning on the flyer: Warning! Prepare yourself for utter transformation."

"The scholarship, the humor, JAC's utterly mesmerizing presence--we could not take our eyes off of her. She is brilliant and so funny and you realize she is asking you, helping you to connect all the dots you never could figure out before, even after years of therapy. And she is REAL. The material is really sophisticated spiritually and psychologically, but you learn it through all these hilarious characters and by doing great stuff that is moving and beautiful and very freeing. I woke up laughing and crying today. I can't believe I worried about the things I worried about before going. There is so much more to say, but there aren't really words. I have no idea where JAC came from, but I want my daughter, my friends and every woman I know to meet her."

"JAC has a Snow White beauty, but those poor little dwarves will be cooking for themselves and picking up their own shit."

"It was so wonderful to see women with walkers in their seventies and eighties alongside women with piercings in their twenties and thirties. I’ve never done anything like this. I am home and I now feel very deeply content inside. I enjoyed the workshops and your ability to captivate us completely, to share yourself and your skills with such honesty! Even though it was difficult work at times, I felt so free afterwards. I hope I have the ability to take what I have been given at the retreat and to run with it…to develop into the work in progress that I am meant to become. I know I can."

"I can't tell you how powerful it was. I can just tell you that it changed me deep inside and helped set me forward, helped me be a part."

"To watch all of us who have nothing, who have had everything of value taken from us, begin to relate and open up was nothing short of miraculous. It's like there's a bellows of hope JAC Patrissi is operating."

"It was the most fantastic experience I have ever had. I didn't realize how much stress and excess baggage I needed to deal with until then."

"My sister and I had the best bonding experience. We found each other again and really bonded."

"I heard an older woman say, 'It is only Saturday and I've learned more here than in five years of therapy.' I felt exactly the same way. For me, personally, the seminar has done a lot of quiet work, letting me view the world in a different way."

"1) JAC is awesome (because of how much she knows---but more importantly that she gave me the gift of learning it too!!!) Can’t wait to use it! 2) I am going to be so much more effective in this work because of the information I gained here!!! 3) She models each skill we were taught!!! 4) I love the the way she actually uses all of the adult learning principles she taught us while teaching them to us! "

"I LOVED IT!!!! This was such a safe and amazing space to wrestle and test and rework and ask questions and get feedback. I’ve never been somewhere (an experiential training!) that felt so helpful, applicable, relevant, evergizing. This was incredible and I know it will hugely change how I do this work---which is so terrifying and energizing all at once! "

"I love JAC’s flexibility and quick thinking on her feet and JAC’s ability to make us feel everything we do or know is valuable AND it can always be tweaked or adapted. You can't replace her calm manner and very firm but subtle way of keeping us on task. She creates a total integration of new knowledge with the experience she faciliated. "

"I love her way of doing feedback--That everyone got to practice and were kept to our timelines so no one got less time or way more of it either. "

"I loved being able to try out the ideas, getting information and feedback on each of our skills and the ennthusiasm she generated from all participants"

"I liked gaining this new knowledge that will really help me. I liked her attitude and knowledge"

"1) Loved The action learning! 2) Great variety for different learning styles. 3) Very usable material 4) The trainer had indepth knowledge about sexual violence prevention. "

"It was one of the most abstract and hands on training I have ever been to and I feel like I really have something to take back with me and use! :-) I loved the music and putty!"

"1) The past two days I have felt safe to participate. 2) This is the first time I have ever had this feeling at a training. 3) Outlining expectations and keeping everyone involved was perfect! "

"I liked: 1) Being able to create and present my model 2) Great way to get feedback. 3) Safe space to learn and experiment "

"1) I had the time and space to do the planning and presentations I wanted to share. 2) I loved the Aunt Fae/ Yellow Dress story! 3) Good healthy snacks 4) Having the chance to learn from the group "

"I liked all of the opportunities provided for immediate application of skills and immediate feedback from peers"

"1) I liked the talk of feeling safe and making it safe for audience to participate. 2) I liked the putty. 3) I liked the theory. 4) I liked talking about the intelligences and designing strategy. 5) I liked the concept of "Praying for doubt". You had me right there. "

"1) JAC gave me a refreshing and new way to look at learning 2) Really understanding what adult learners need---relevant, immediate, DO. 3) I can apply these principles with not just adults but young people too. "

"1) JAC's preparation – was textbook excellence 2) She couldn't have been clearer about what we were doing or where we were going; it made the complex material so much easier to wrestle with. 3) I loved that she gave me the opportunity for implementation and design on my own projects--to work on personal objectives--I had coaching and consultation all the time from her, even though I was part of a group. How does she do that? It was invaluable! "

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