What makes a partner abusive is that they have abusive values.
Many people think that being violent is a mental health condition. Research shows that people with mental health conditions, when they are violent, are violent for the same reason people without mental health conditions are: they have attitudes and beliefs that support the use of violence.
Most simply put, if a person believes this, they are abusive:
“If I am uncomfortable, I can use intimidation, threat of violence or humiliation and retaliation to get what I want.”
Here are some abusive values to look out for:
• Believing that it is your job to accept me as I am, not matter what I do.
• Believing that I have the right to tear you down if you point out soething about you that threatens my self concept.
• Believing that it is your job to celebrate my growth and change, and not mention how little I have actually changed
• Believing that I get to express disgust if you point out significant things that I forget
• Believing that I have the right to establish reality to my liking.
• Believing that I can be contemptuous or violent if you complain, because I should NEVER be answerable to you.
• Believing that I am inherently superior, or that men are superior as a gender.

Unresolved mental health issues
Let’s say your partner has unresolved mental health issues. Perhaps she has served in Afghanistan and now her nervous system is easily hyperstimulated; she can not go to parties and feel comfortable and she also has a limited range of emotional expression. Or maybe your partner is struggling with clinical depression, or even has a set of traits known as one of the personality disorders. Without help, these conditions can be very destructive for you to live with. It can be hard for you to try to find emotional connection and social activities and routine that suit the both of you. Untreated, unaddressed, these challenges could degrade the bond between you. But is it abusive? No.
If your partner is addicted and not in recovery, you eventually discover that the substance maintains the central place in their world, usurping all, including you, the kids, and other heartfelt or longstanding commitments. That is what the chemical process of addiction does; the primary attachment overriding all others becomes the attachment to the substance.
It is devastating to realize this. Is this destructive to you, as a partner? Yes. Is this abusive? Not necessarily. Read on.

Chronic Immaturity
Perhaps your partner does not fully take on the day to day responsibilities for caring for him or herself, even though they should be able to. Your partner not take care of routine hygiene, household chores, does not follow up on basic responsibilities and commitments. And maybe this partner is more interested in gaming or new electronics or play time than doing the work of a committed relationship. For you, this is certainly exhausting, and destructive to you, but it is not abusive.

Yet any of these conditions: untreated addiction or mental health issues or chronic immaturity can combine with abusive values. In practice, this means an addicted abusive person says, quite threateningly, “You knew who I was when we got together. This is who I am. Are you going to turn on me now? You will pay for that.”
Someone with unresolved mental health issues who is abusive could say, “I TOLD you I don’t do parties! What the hell do you think you are doing having a party?!”
An abusive, chronically immature person acts disgusted and changes the topic to tear you down if you bring up unmet responsibilities.
See the difference? Addiction, untreated mental health issues and even immaturity are destructive, but not abusive on their own.
Combined with abusive values, these relationships become abusive.
And usually, abusive values stand on their own. People who have these values designate them for relationships overwhelmingly, but not exclusively, towards women or towards people with gender expressions most often associated with the feminine.
This means that a person with abusive values can accept criticism from their boss, but not from the partner, because one of the traits in common with all abusers is that they can not accept authority, influence or direction, no matter how gently or skillfully given, from a woman.
Does any of this ring a bell? Make you think?

Leave A Comment, Written on October 5th, 2016 , Uncategorized

When I first worked with trafficked women and children in other countries so many years ago now, I was startled

by how, among innumerable injustices, there were only a narrow few that privilege picks out and calls crimes, and usually only crimes of individuals accountable to society.

When there are so many wrongs heaped upon whole peoples, you can no longer think ONLY in terms of individuals’ responsibilities and culpabilities. That is the refuge of the comfortable.

Where to start
when your mother was stolen from her parents and put in an institution with all the other brown children to be made ‘civilized?’ And then she became drug addicted by the men who sold her for sex, and then the same state took you away from her for being such a bad mother?

Where to begin
when your schools are trash, when there is no fresh food or water, when your parents’ property is deemed less valuable because they are not white, when you are treated with deadly force because you are not white
when you are supposed to compete on the “even playing field” of the world with the legacy ivy kid who did his paid internship at his Dad’s multinational corporation in France?

Where to look, when a future, if you get to one, is leased at an exorbitant rate, with mounting fees attached to finding a dwelling, transportation, food, learning.

When addiction and suicide rates are soaring. When many kinds of violence are subsiding only for the white among us.

I think more now about injustice and justice in systems
rather than only about crimes of individuals accountable to society.

I think about how our social and legal systems are accountable to the individual.

I ask which system, what people, hold the power of institution, of practice and I ask–how are they doing in service to the brown or black girl–because that always startles me with the truth of
what needs to change for us all.

Leave A Comment, Written on July 9th, 2016 , Uncategorized

This was the first Christmas in five years that Joe had spent with any of his family. He’d been in prison for the aggravated assault on his ex wife, Raquel. She had been complaining to her adult kids for years that he was hurting her, but Joe was so convincing. Besides, she was so loud and aggressive herself, wasn’t she? She drank a lot and she was angry all the time. So it had been easy to say that “You never know what really goes on,” and, “It isn’t really my business.” It was easy, that us, until they visited Raquel in the Intensive Care Unit. It took so long for the breaks in to heal, and longer for the shock to wear off for all of the adult kids and grandkids. They rallied around their mom and several of them went to talk to domestic violence advocates themselves, so they could understand how it had changed them, and how to find their way now.

Part of Joe’s sentence included probation after his release, and the requirement that he complete a certified Intimate Partner Abuse Education Program. He’d been attending his program for three months when he came into group the week following Christmas. It was Joe’s turn to report out. Had he practiced taking accountability with his family without minimizing, denying or blaming? Had he conferred with others while making family decisions over the holiday? Was he able to tolerate including the needs of others, and not always getting his way? Was he a safe person to disagree with? Could he be relied upon to initiate sharing in the burdens of organizing, cleaning and supporting the holidays?

“It wasn’t that stuff which was the hardest part,” Joe explained after reporting his progress. “It was when we came into the dining room. You know, I’d been setting the table and carrying stuff in and helping distract the kids, like we planned I would. And when they went to sit down, I kind of held back, like we said, to see where everyone wanted to go.

Then my daughter Hailey said, ‘Dad, this is your seat. We’ve been setting this place for you at every holiday when it would have been your turn to see us, you know, when it wasn’t mom’s turn. No one sat in it. We saved it for you, because we wanted you to know it is your place.’ Joe put his head in his hands, hiding tears.

After a pause, his facilitator asked him, “What is that like, Joe, to feel how much families want a safe Grandpa and Dad at the table? How they want to have things feel alright, and safe and loving and whole? How does it feel to work to deserve that place?”

“Hard. Really hard,” Joe whispered.

By JAC Patrissi

Leave A Comment, Written on January 11th, 2016 , Uncategorized

If you are struggling within a destructive or abusive relationship, or if you have left one and are still picking up the pieces, beware your therapist.

After more than twenty-five years in the advocacy field, helping women and children survivors of domestic and sexual violence, I went back to school so that I could dig into the latest trauma research. I wanted to come out better prepared to work with trauma survivors as a clinician, a therapist, rather than solely as an advocate. I went back to school already very well read in the field. Given that, I did not learn much new in the way of trauma research or about working with survivors. Instead, I came out much better prepared to warn you why you have to be wary of all those lovely, well meaning therapists you might turn to.

Chances are your therapist has been schooled in one of these ill conceived approaches to domestic violence that they tried to teach me in school:

Reenactment theory: a victim/survivor seeks out abusive relationships in an unconscious desire to resolve issues from her past.
Here’s the deal:
Sure, your awful relationship reminds you of your earlier awful relationships. And yes, you probably learned some survival patterns early on that suited you at the time, but are not serving you now. Yet consider this: do women have their human rights actively violated all over the world because they have mother issues? (You should be shaking your head and saying, ‘No, they don’t’.)
Also, importantly, all abusive partners present themselves as those terrific guys you know and love and admire (and maybe even cheer on the playing field.) None of them asks you on the first date to sign up for a relationship of humiliation, loss and degradation.

Family Systems theory: a victim/survivor is an equal partner in the abuse. Every member of the family plays a role in the system and is responsible for their role in creating abuse.
Here’s the deal: No.
Okay, this is a very helpful theory when you are looking at relationships that are not abusive. If you are thinking about relationships that are not based on one partner bullying the other to maintain power, family systems theory will take you far. In abusive relationships, research has shown that the more relationally skillful, communicative and conciliatory the abused partner, the more the abuser consolidates his control. The more you try–the worse it gets. “It takes two to tango?” It is not a tango. It is a train-wreck!

Low selfesteem: A victim/survivor feels badly about herself, which is why she seeks out the relationship, or stays in the relationship, perpetuating the abuse.

Here’s the deal: We’ve got cause and effect reversed here. Survivors feel their self esteem erode terribly when they live with a denigrating partner. They don’t stay to perpetuate abuse. They stay because it is dangerous to leave, because the partner threatens to take or hurt the kids and because of economic vulnerability or poverty. Many abusive people seek out women who have great ego strength because they see them as a challenge. In batterer intervention groups, these men talk of “taking her down a peg.”

What do these lenses for viewing domestic violence have in common? They hold the survivor responsible for the abuse. And that is just what the abuser does. If it feels comfortable and familiar–that is why. Also, we know that the first stage of response to a trauma is to blame yourself. There is some power in claiming responsibility–but it is the wrong place to take it. Where is it worth taking responsibility? Take responsibility for your healing path.

What should your therapist know about that would help you?
Conflict or Feminist Theory: The perpetrator of violence is exercising multiple forms of power over the partner and children he abuses. He often finds support for his choices in the media, his community and in our courts’ legal decisions. The victim is not responsible for the abuse perpetrated upon her.

This point of view relieves the survivor of the distracting and false burdens of guilt so that she can get on with rebuilding a life without the abusiveness or destructiveness.

Ask your potential therapist: what do you think causes domestic violence? Listen carefully to the answer. Having survived already and having read this, you are likely more savvy about the dynamics of domestic violence than many a therapist out there trained to blame.

By JAC Patrissi

The New Age Emotionally Abusive Partner is most prevalent among men who have spent a lot of time in therapy. They wear yoga clothes and often seem to care exceedingly about Mother Earth. They spend time in men’s circles, where they learn to weep and talk about feeling vulnerable. The many expansive and humbling gifts that can be found on the gentle path are not available to them because they do not truly seek these gifts. Instead, they cloak the dominance they crave in the yogic garb of spirituality. In the retreats I hold for women healing from destructive relationships, women involved with New Age Emotionally Abusive Partners are shocked and relieved to know they are not alone. Typical patterns include:


The New Age Emotionally Abusive Partner reserves special privileges for himself out of a belief in his own superiority. A mediator confided in his partner, “Those rules of mediation don’t apply to me; I was born with a gift.” The resources in the family, including time and spending money, are spent on projects, trips and items he feels represent a (his) superior set of values that can not be compromised, so they are not open to true negotiation. These men are good, even great, with apologies and self disclosing explanations. Yet when the guard is down, they will tell you that they don’t actually mean the apology, but that they were doing what was required by you, a being who they consider “lesser.” If you look at the behavior, and the power of choice in a disagreement, the power goes one way: his. These men also feel no requirement to adhere to the principles of honesty. The are liars who feel comfortable with the rationale that there is no “truth” only “perspective,” and so actual patterns of fact can be erased or altered completely. This may sound harsh, until you see it up close. Then it is chilling.

Rules That Reward Him

The New Age Emotionally Abusive Partner often ascribes to very specific preferences for communication. Instead of working to hear what you have to say, he is intent on correcting your method of articulation and detailing how it ultimately and invariably injures him. One woman described how her husband would describe the sexual responsiveness of his beautiful former partner. When she told him she did not want to hear these details, he responded with scandalized disappointment, tears in his eyes, “Is this how you listen to my feelings?!”

Another woman describes how her partner mused aloud, “You know, everyone says how beautiful you are, and I notice that from some angles, I find you repulsive. You see how sick my mind is? I have to work on my ego.” She was astute, so she replied, “You just insulted me while making it seem as though your spiritual awareness takes away the insult, but you still said it.” His answer? “Why do you always shut me out? This is about me, not you! Can’t you support my path?”

He makes up rules such as, “Therapists and friends must not judge,” so that if someone holds him accountable, he can claim an implied covenant (his) was broken, feel wounded, and distance himself from the challenge.

Back To Me

Spiritual principles are often invoked, mixing levels of meaning. For example, one abusive partner was confronted by his wife on his relentlessly controlling behavior. She used so many specifics, and followed the preferred communication practices to a “T”. “My abusiveness is just a projection of your own sick mind!” he shouted at her. In a neat, succinct twist, he both acknowledged the abuse and blamed her for its ultimate cause on a spiritual plane.

For many, there is a plane of meaning on which separation is an illusion and we write our own stories, so to speak. This level of contemplation is meant to dissolve defenses, not to reinforce them. With the New Age Emotionally Abusive Partner, all accountability is erased by these spiritual sleights of hand.

Why does he do this? Because if you follow these practices, you always get things your own way. It is ultimately destructive to all relationship, but the New Age Emotionally Abusive Partner will feel wounded by the ‘terrible women who let him down’, swear to himself that he will never allow himself to be ill-used again, finding the ultimate excuse to consolidate his power.

To you, the partner who has struggled to find the beauty and gentleness in the façade that attracted you to him in the first place: No matter how skillful you are, he will not significantly accept your influence. Small changes will cost you a great deal. You do not have to learn more about these lessons by being partnered to them any longer. Take the experience, and mine it for all the golden insight. And fly away wiser, when you can.

Aimee had a good following on Instagram and Twitter. She had over eight hundred Facebook friends. Her posts were preternaturally upbeat in the abbreviated speak of her classmates, describing many imaginary “totes amaze” days. She described concerts she never attended, and boyfriends she didn’t have as part of an online life of invention, all fabricated, but for that one honest “emo” post where Aimee wrote how she wanted to kill herself.

Aimee was both annoyed and pleased that the post landed her a meeting with the school counselor. She was pleased that anyone read her posts, since she didn’t truly know almost any of her hundreds of “friends and followers”. She was annoyed that the school counselor wanted to talk. The counselor introduced her family to a Therapeutic Mentor for Aimee as part of a team of services. The mentor’s job is to link Aimee to a community of support and connection.
The first thing sixteen year old Aimee said when she opened the door to see her Therapeutic Mentor Maria was, “MOM! She’s OLD!”

Middle aged Maria was undeterred. She discovered that when Aimee was not online, she was teaching herself to knit. Maria did her research. When she walked Aimee into her first knitters meeting, the group leader exclaimed, “MARIA! She’s a BABY!” Of the six women in the knitting group, Aimee was the youngest by sixty years.

Knitting patterns have their own shorthand. There’s “beg” for “beginning”, “sl” for “slipping”, “tog” for “together”, “wyif” for “with yarn in front.”
The group of grandmothers helped Aimee start at the beginning. Together, they encouraged her to join activities at school. They talked about the friendships they’d made and how to keep and care for a good friend, unplugged. They told her the signs of control and abuse to look for in a dating relationship. Aimee talked to them when she began slipping into anxiety and darkness. They made her laugh; they loved her, with yarn in front.

They all fully expect good grades and kind friends and dating partnersfor her. They expect to help her keep both. They expect to stand at her graduation, long after her mentor closes services. Behind those precious pictures of her knitting friends and the things they make, which Aimee will post, will be hundreds of hours of listening, talking, hands reaching over to help unravel and start again.

By JAC Patrissi

Leave A Comment, Written on September 27th, 2015 , relationship, Uncategorized Tags:

Let’s talk about the Non Apology. The Non Apology does not discriminate by age or gender or class or race or physical ability. You can get one in any language, too.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” is the American Classic. It’s the Coca Cola of Non Apologies. The whole world sings that one in perfect harmony.

Once my husband gave me a Classic Coke Non Apology and a smile.

I’m not sure where it came from, but out did it come:

I’m not sorry I feel that way. It is a sign of my emotional wellbeing and good sense. It means I can tell when I’m being disrespected or when my boundary is being crossed. I’m actually glad I feel this way; I’m grateful. I’m thrilled.

I am sorry that you have not apologized for doing what you did.

I am sorry that you acted in a way that was so disrespectful to me and I wish you would apologize for that.”

I wasn’t really talking just to him, but to every Non Apologist I’ve ever heard. I realized I’m also not sorry when I get mad, which is the precursor to the Diet Coke of Non Apologies: ‘I’m sorry you are mad.’ I’m glad my emotional thermometer can register injustice and general douchery.

Husband paused for a moment and then laughed. “That is awesome. You are fantastic,” he said.

“That is beside the point. I’m still mad.”

And then he gave the real apology:

“I’m sorry I did the thing.

I should not have done the thing.

I’m sorry I hurt you by doing the thing.

If I could do it over, I would do the other thing.

And I hope you can forgive me.”

And because we are talking about things that don’t violate a person’s fundamental human rights, things that aren’t repeated endlessly, things that have no contempt in them and that are not destructive, I feel, after a good apology–closer to his humanity, closer to my own and I am not sorry I feel that way.

JAC Patrissi

Leave A Comment, Written on September 18th, 2015 , domestic violence, relationship Tags:

In the opening scene of the film, Gladiator, Russell Crowe’s character prepares his men for battle in the forests of Germania. As he enters the fray, he shouts to his men, “HOLD THE LINE! STAY WITH ME!”

When I work with people leaving abusive or destructive relationships, they are often shocked by the force with which they feel compelled to maintain or reestablish connection with the person who has harmed them. This is no ordinary break up longing. It cannot be attended to with a good movie and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.


Because of the way abusive or destructive relationships work, the person who was harmed is often isolated from other deep and sustaining life connections. This means that loss of the primary romantic relationship represents the loss of the most profound connection the person has, even if it was a damaging one. Often it is the only deep relationship occurring. Friendships and family are opfrequently distant or estranged.

Unmet Need

The survivor of these kinds of relationships has also usually built up a deep well of unfulfilled needs. To leave the relationships without real ongoing connection would mean feeling the depth of the unmet needs, which many survivors do not feel prepared to face. These are the needs for kindness, love, appreciation, sex, tenderness. With distance, the survivor recalls the whole idea that  a relationship is supposed to be good and loving most of the time. It is supposed to make you stronger. Facing that you have not had this and for so very long, is very painful.

The survivor longs for loving connection with the abusive or destructive person above a connection with anyone else. In part, this is because abusive person usually withholds affection or attention within the relationship, often denying the reality of the abuse or minimizing it. Over time, the smallest and often temporary acknowledgement of wrongdoing on the part of the abusive person begins to feel precious. A period of apparent peace, bought at the cost of the survivor swallowing or softening the truth, seems worth the price. The survivor wants acknowledgment, longs for respectful connection, even after leaving, in part because loving connection has been so hard to come by, so fleeting, especially from this person who meant so much.

Making Things Right

The survivor wants the abusive person to be the person who makes things right. You want the person who hurt you to do the apologizing. Survivors hope that if they maintain connection, that someday the abusive person will be able to see what they have done and to provide the much longed for acknowledgment. The sad truth is that the acknowledgement you seek most likely won’t be coming. And even if it is coming, it isn’t going to come as soon as you break up, and it won’t mend the harm on its own. The damage done by the relationship is still yours to nurse.

Sharpening the Intensity

If the survivor has a family of origin that was unsupportive or hurtful, this longing for reconnection to the abusive person can feel intensely compelling, nearly beyond description. When you leave an abusive relationship, a window into your own profound needs for a family is opened. By truly separating, survivors feel like they are rejecting the chance at having a real, loving family, a thing that they have longed for their whole lives. You are not rejecting that chance! By leaving a destructive relationship, you are opening the path to that chance.

What to do?

Establish a boundary. Get help with establishing it. Every time you wan to write or text or call, or stop by, call your helping people.

Grieve. You are in grief. You must respect the many losses you are sustaining. Grieve your isolation, as you work to fill your life with new connection. Grieve your unmet needs. Grieve the loos of having things made right the way you wanted it all to happen. Grieve the deeper wounds that may be there. Honor your soul through the process of grief. Find help for this integrative process.

Use your spiritual tools. Call in friends and new connections. Ask them to help you find the line. Ask them to encourage you, to call to you across the chasm of your grief:

Hold the line! Stay with me!

JAC Patrissi


I know I’m behind the times, but I just saw the movie Foxcatcher, the one that was up for all those Academy Awards.

It was great to see two men playing out just what an abusive relationship is like. They weren’t romantically involved, but the same dynamics were at play. Steve Carell plays the wealthy John du Pont. In the film, John invites the Olympic wrestler Mark Schultz to move to his estate so that he can help him prepare for the Olympics.

John has all the power and all the money. He appears to be an incredibly generous guy who just wants to help Mark achieve his goals. That’s exactly how an abusive relationship starts, with the abusive person posing as  selfless and supportive. I wasn’t surprised when, eventually, John introduced Mark to cocaine, isolated Mark from his brother, encouraged Mark not to work out, then  slapped him and humiliated him in front of the rest of the team, telling him that he never should have supported him in the first place.

That’s how it goes. Once you are depending entirely on the abusive person as your whole support, once you are isolated from your family and friends, the abuser undermines you and then humiliates you, blaming you the whole time for being a disappointment.

In the movie, John talks about Mark as having “psychological problems,” right in front of him, as though he were not even there. Abusive partners smear the psychological credibility of the survivor. What’s most acutely painful is that Mark’s self concept had begun to erode–it was this erosion that John exploited, even as he was the catalyst for John’s deterioration.

John wanted to own Mark—he wanted to own a trophy Olympic athlete that would make him look good. Abusive people feel a sense of ownership over their partners; it’s the underlying theme that enables them to do anything they feel is justified to act out that ownership.

When John couldn’t use the same manipulations successfully on Mark’s brother, Dave, also an Olympic gold medal wrestler, John shot Dave.

I wasn’t surprised. That’s exactly how domestic violence works. The abuser only uses the amount of force necessary to control the survivor. And often, physical abuse isn’t needed to get the job done; manipulation, isolation and psychological abuse work just fine. But when those tools fail, the abuser doesn’t hesitate to use force. And, he doesn’t hesitate to use deadly force over the object he’s lost control of. That’s when it’s most dangerous for a survivor—when the abusive person figures out they don’t control you, they don’t own you, after all. ”

It isn’t unusual for me to hear women I work with describe how it is that their partner used verbal abuse, intimidation and lesser acts of violence to get what they want. This is often followed by sexual assault or a near deadly escalation once the women move to separate for good.

The film noted that John du Pont made legal claim to being mentally ill. Whatever else he struggled with, it isn’t an illness to plan to use force when you don’t get what you want. It’s abuse.



Leave A Comment, Written on August 31st, 2015 , domestic violence, relationship Tags:

I used to work primarily with women who were trying to decide if they should leave their relationship. They’d read my book, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” come to my women’s weekend retreats, and somewhere in there, for a minute or two, each woman would really, really want me to tell her whether she should get a divorce or not. I would strive to be open and fair, but always respect that the final decision belonged to her. “You might not be finished and that’s okay. I’m not the Divorce Lady!” I’d say. And then a couple of ago, The Omega Institute asked me to help put on divorce conferences.

Now I’m the Divorce Lady.

The Relationship Just Didn’t Work Out or It Was Destructive

If you are seriously contemplating getting a divorce, you need to know what is coming. For your own sanity, safety and your future planning, you need to know who you are divorcing. The options for repairing a relationship and for divorcing from one are very different depending upon who your partner is.

There are two main categories of relationship demise: 1) Didn’t Work Out and 2) Destructive. Where does your relationship fall?

In the Didn’t Work Out category, you have relationships where skills and values become your primary concern. Were you skilled communicators? Were you self aware? Did you have compatible values? Do you wound one another repeatedly? Is the relationship painful most of the time or loving most of the time? When it doesn’t work out, you will experience pain and grief. You will also have significant options for the divorce process. You can explore a range of mediation options and custody options if you have kids. It’s not easy, but you will have less to navigate than your divorce comrades working through the aftermath Destructive Relationship.

In the Destructive Relationship,

ü  Your partner might be addicted to a substance or to a behavior, like gambling. This isn’t necessarily abusive behavior, but, unchecked, it can destroy a relationship no matter how hard the not- addicted partner tries.

ü  Your partner might be Chronically Immature. This also is not necessarily abusive, but being the “parent” to your partner who can never quite care for him or herself will erode the relationship.

ü  Your partner might be a bully who uses fear, intimidation, sexual coercion and other violence to get what he or she wants.

ü  Your partner might have unresolved mental health needs, such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, one of the Personality Disorders or Major Depression.

And, most challenging, your partner might have a toxic mix of the Destructive options outlined above. This makes for a Perfect Storm of a relationship and it means you have to proceed with caution while navigating a divorce!

Learn more about Destructive Relationships before you weigh out your divorce options. Your wisest options are planned knowing exactly who you are divorcing.

JAC Patrissi



JAC Patrissi's Blog – Growing A New Heart is proudly powered by WordPress and features a customized theme by Adam Taylor
Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS).

JAC Patrissi's Blog – Growing A New Heart

JAC Patrissi is a Communications Specialist who uses writing, performance art, training and collaborative facilitation in order to support healing for women who are questioning the health of their relationships or who are healing from destructive relationships. This is her blog.